Mother Fearest

Do you remember that phrase your parents like to say when they either punish or scold you?

"Just wait until you're a parent yourself..."

Geez, I used to think, when I become a parent, I'll totally be the complete opposite than my parents. I'll be this cool mom whom the children really love to hang out with. Unlike my parents. Yes yes. When I hit teenage years, I was against any type of family outing deeming them BORING. I always thought that I'll be less strict, less a pain in the b**t than mine were.

Now that I'm one. Reality set in.

You really become your parents although you swear up and down you won't become them. At one point, I kept thinking that Chris may grow up hating my guts because I wouldn't let him stay out after 8 or 9 on a weekday. I'll always have the gnawing paranoia that if Chris were late to call in, that he'll be in an accident, or some punk beat him up and so on and such and such (sure, it sounds really absurd, but my paranoia says: it can always happen!!!). Or he'll hate me because I thought he's too young to start dating (as an ex-girl-teenager myself, I can just see how his future gf's parents will think of him!). Or he'll think I'm a weirdo because I won't let him eat McD's "happy meal" (I strive to get him to eat healthy and develop a good eating habit when he grows up, idealistic, sure, why not). And so on and so forth.

I suppose that my parents were saying "no" to me for all the right reasons. They just want to protect me from harm, it's not because they're "uptight" or "strict," it's all because they love me and didn't want me to make wrong decisions or pay for the unwise action I might take.

What I want Chris to know is that his parents aren't perfect. After all, we all have some sort of baggage we're still dealing with, quirks that are embedded deeply into our habits. He just needs to realize that with age, what we have is that lessons, useful ones, to pass on to him all for the purpose of making him live a purposeful, healthful, happy life. The trick is how to let him know this without diminishing his respect (and tiny dose of fear) for us? I think I'll find out later.

I guess from time to time, especially when he's of an adult age, I will have to stand back and bite my tongue and hope to God that he'll be wise enough to remember what we've passed on to him, to learn from his mistakes (which he'll make along the way) and discover ways to not repeat them.

Speaking of passing on tradition...When I think about it, now I know where I got my frugal ways...My mom!!! Ha! There's another thing I inherit from her, living healthy.

My mom was the one who pushed me to get rid of the generic baby jars and start to learn to cook real food for Chris. She was the one who showed me the art of pureeing and make sure that all the ingredients are fresh because this is what she says: "You are what you eat." Maybe because of all those good hearty food he's gotten, in his 21 months life, Chris's become a really strong boy. He could walk perfectly when he's 9 months old (he started when he's 7), he's alert, happy, active.

He only has gotten the cold twice! (It's not even too serious, just a sniffle, and a little fever) Even our pediatrician was quite amazed because he's gotten so many parents complaining about the flu season and how their children got sick very often seasonally.

I'm real fortunate to have our parents to be involved in our lives. Chris totally adores and loves them. He lights up each time they're around. I got this tiny suspicions that he favors his grandparents more than Michael and me.

I digress though. I see that Chris is stirring. He's about done with his nap, so it's time to play again...Adieu for now!

Love,
Tracy